Mga Bagay Bagay na Naiisip ng Katulad Ko sa Loob ng Maingay na Musika ng Jeep

Hapong hapo na ako at tila bumibigay na katawan ko sa sobrang pagod habang papauwi na ako ng bahay galing sa eskwela. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat ng aking bag na puno ng mga aklat habang ang tiyan ko nama’y hindi pa napupunuan ng pagkain. Kung makakain nga lang ang libro eh. Magtitiis muna ako, papalapit na rin naman ako sa bahay. Halos paikot-ikot na lang ang mundo ko, hindi nagbabago. Gayon at gayon pa din. Mag-aaral, magsisikap at magpupuyat. Sa mundong ito na talamak ang kahirapan, sinong tao ba ang ni minsan ay hindi man lamang nagkaroon ng problema sa kanilang pang-araw-araw sa buhay?

Gusto kong sumigaw. Gusto kong magwala. Ang rami ko ng kapalpakan pero hindi ito ang dikta sa akin ng panahon. Kinukulong ako ng lipunang ito na kung saan pinapanigan ang mga makapangyarihan at inaalipusta ang karapatan ng karamihan. Hindi ako aktibista, hindi ako raliyista at hindi rin ako komunista ngunit sa lumalalang sitwasyon ngayon, san na nga ba ang tuwid na daan?

Nakakalito. Nakakabobo. Mapanlinlang sa mata ng masa.

Marami ang nagbibingi-bingihan, mahirap man o mayaman. Sarili lamang natin ang iniisip natin. Lahat ng bayani’y maagang namatay dahil sa kalupitan at bagsik ng mga taong higit pa sa impakto kung gumawa ng kasamaan. Militarisasyon ang pangunahing inaasikaso ng pamahalaan. Hindi natutugunan ang pangangailangan ng pamayanan. Kailan ba mabubuwag ang sistemang kay lupit na tila daluyong ng pwersang humahagupit?

Hindi ako makata, hindi ako politiko at hindi manloloko. Ako ay parte ng masa. Parte ng karamihang dumaranas rin ng hirap.

Tama na nga ito. Sa simpleng pag-iisip sa jeep naisip ko pa ang mga bagay bagay na ito. Ipipikit ang mata, iisiping lahat ay kay ganda. Ipapahinga ang katawan na tila isang walang hanggan. Pilipinas! Bumangon tayo sa bumabaluktot na pangunguna! Maging magiting, harapin ang kinabukasan at salubungin ang Inang Bayan.
-Arvin Villanueva

WASTING LIGHT

I certainly cannot start this with a very overwhelming quote nor can I write a very poetic preamble to this piece of trash. My purpose here is to express my disappointment and grief in the past months of that happened in my life. I never thought that I will feel so isolated that sometimes I wonder whether I am on the right track. I ask God for signs and I trust Him in His plans but filled with so much curiosity in my head, I really am very confused as if my world had already turned upside-down.

What am I talking about anyway? Let my clarify the situation I am currently in.

I am already beginning to feel the results of the past decisions that I have made and also the mistakes I’ve done and it is really awkward to discuss them one by one. But one thing is for sure: my first year in college in my university never turned to be that “wonderful”.

Having doubts as whether I have chosen the right school for me, I am really feeling the alienation sinking in me deep within. It is like a poison that kills and destroys in a very gruesome way.

I don’t have anything bad to say about my university and I am actually proud of being a PUPian but as of this writing, I am now having this thought in my mind that I accidentally chose the wrong university for my course and feeling numb about it, I am having this hard time thinking whether to transfer from another school although that major decision still needs some consultations from those people who are concerned. I don’t blame the professors here although yes they only attend classes whenever they wish to and the wasted hours just waiting for nothing is killing me. Going to school with all your efforts only to find out that there will be no classes is not a big joke. How can the students learn if they will not “teach” properly? Yes, I believe in the power and miracles of self-study but this alone will not save you from the harsh reality in the academe and it also has some negative effects, the essence of the student-teacher interaction is deteriorating.

I don’t know or maybe because I just missed high school that’s why I am grumbling about these things here or maybe it is only just the beginning because the road is still a long way and yet one of my options is to give up. I hope I will never choose that option and instead find a win-win solution that will solve my problems.

I believe in the power of the Almighty.
*Thanks for the Foo Fighters for “Wasting Light”

Ka Teddy- Dakila Ka!

Admit it. You have, for some time in your life as a student, encountered in your history class the name Teodoro A. Agoncillo (not Felipe Agoncillo, the diplomat of Aguinaldo) and probably many of you read his books as well. To some, he is the Father of Philippine Historiography (due to his nationalist approach in writing his books using the Filipino point of view) and for many, they don’t even have a single idea about who he really is.

Teddy, as known, to his colleagues, gave a very great contribution in a milieu wherein Philippine historiography was very unpopular since the history books before him are from American (or even European) point of view. It is very weird to say that we don’t have the guts to write a history book made purely and written through a nationalist’s perspective before. I admire his books. As a historian myself, I will always consider his books as the best choice when it comes on reading Philippine history. Nobody, not even Gregorio Zaide or Renato Constantino, can equal the National Scientist in History to date in terms of writing history.

History will always be my first love although I am more affiliated with Political Science as of now. It will always play a very important role as we go and take a look back to the past and anticipate what lies ahead.
`
As a tribute to his 27th death anniversary (Jan. 4, 1985), I would like to end this from a memorable work of his, excerpt from "Republikang Basahan".

Kalayaan! Republika! Ang bayani'y dinudusta.
Kalayaan pala itong mamatay nang abang-aba!

Kasarinlan pala itong ni hindi mo masarili
Ang dangal ng tahanan mong ibo't pugad ng pagkasi.

The Near is Still so Far

If we could travel into the past, it's mind-boggling what would be possible. For one thing, history would become an experimental science, which it certainly isn't today. The possible insights into our own past and nature and origins would be dazzling. For another, we would be facing the deep paradoxes of interfering with the scheme of causality that has led to our own time and ourselves. I have no idea whether it's possible, but it's certainly worth exploring.
-CARL SAGAN, NOVA interview, Oct. 12, 1999
Time machine is, hands-out, the most intricate human fancy for the last generations. It is that machine that feeds our own craves to see the past or the future and set the world in our hands in whatever period we want to be. For some, it is lunatic misconception for it fools us that we can change the past mistakes we’ve done and avoid tragedies in the future. If there is one thing that I think will really not be possible, even with the prolonged passage of time and technological advancement, time travel will be the top choice in my list. Fiction novels and Hollywood movies have given us this false illusion that it will exist in due time. Funny because it reflects humankind’s obsession to this phenomena, which in reality, will break the laws of physics as explained by many scientific theories, especially those of Einstein’s.

I admit that I am also one of those stupid fanatics who also dream of being able to walk in the ghost of my past. Period. But with whatever reasons, time-travel still and will also always hunt my life, giving me the creeps of wanting to see the “uncertain”. I am already talking non-sense here. Haha.