WASTING LIGHT

I certainly cannot start this with a very overwhelming quote nor can I write a very poetic preamble to this piece of trash. My purpose here is to express my disappointment and grief in the past months of that happened in my life. I never thought that I will feel so isolated that sometimes I wonder whether I am on the right track. I ask God for signs and I trust Him in His plans but filled with so much curiosity in my head, I really am very confused as if my world had already turned upside-down.

What am I talking about anyway? Let my clarify the situation I am currently in.

I am already beginning to feel the results of the past decisions that I have made and also the mistakes I’ve done and it is really awkward to discuss them one by one. But one thing is for sure: my first year in college in my university never turned to be that “wonderful”.

Having doubts as whether I have chosen the right school for me, I am really feeling the alienation sinking in me deep within. It is like a poison that kills and destroys in a very gruesome way.

I don’t have anything bad to say about my university and I am actually proud of being a PUPian but as of this writing, I am now having this thought in my mind that I accidentally chose the wrong university for my course and feeling numb about it, I am having this hard time thinking whether to transfer from another school although that major decision still needs some consultations from those people who are concerned. I don’t blame the professors here although yes they only attend classes whenever they wish to and the wasted hours just waiting for nothing is killing me. Going to school with all your efforts only to find out that there will be no classes is not a big joke. How can the students learn if they will not “teach” properly? Yes, I believe in the power and miracles of self-study but this alone will not save you from the harsh reality in the academe and it also has some negative effects, the essence of the student-teacher interaction is deteriorating.

I don’t know or maybe because I just missed high school that’s why I am grumbling about these things here or maybe it is only just the beginning because the road is still a long way and yet one of my options is to give up. I hope I will never choose that option and instead find a win-win solution that will solve my problems.

I believe in the power of the Almighty.
*Thanks for the Foo Fighters for “Wasting Light”