Tormented Heart by: Arvin Jay Villanueva

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
–Norman Cousins

I know it is not yet the celebration of the Mothers’ Day but still, something urged me to write this down and publish this in my blog site.

Many of us never really understood what it feels like when you lose someone special to you. And all of a sudden, a feeling of regret and pain will sink deep within as if the world has gone blank. A desolate place full of questions, one cannot describe the melancholic picturesque of life after the demise of that person, thus creating another form of reality a bit far from what we are used to in our daily routine.

And it is very hard to accept it even more if that person will be your mother.

Of all the persons in this world, admit it or not, your mother is the one that gives you this momentary space or rather a temporary comfort zone as your fortress of solitude when you have problems that clogs your persona, your esteem and your character as a whole. Brain-racking but somehow our own mother has this STOP signage that tells us to take a break and look at the brighter side of life. The old adage which says, “Mothers know the best” is very reflective indeed.

I know some people who are not that close with their mothers, these people who have bitter feelings or hatred with reasons that are quite justifiable yet a bit unreasonable too. I am not that close with my mother either but I have sympathy to her because she is the one who is always busy, being preoccupied with things just for us to have education and live a decent life. And this is the main reason why I am not that close to my mother, her being too busy. There are those times that I can’t talk to her personally as if a big gap has been precluded by some sort of force which is unexplainable and I can’t even make a theory of why it happens. It’s a bit weird, to tell you honestly.

But I enjoy those moments with my family and I never let a day pass without seeing them. A day without them is already numbing as hell.

I remember once again my adviser during my fourth year high school when he lost his mother last January 2011. And as far as I can remember, the booklet that he gave before our graduation have so many anecdotes about the importance of family, especially our own mother.

“If your mom is alive and close to you give her a big kiss and ask her for forgiveness. If she is far away, call her. If she passed away, pray for her.”
That’s the advice which can be found at the end of an anecdote in the booklet given to us last March.
*Condolences to my aunt who recently passed away. I know that my cousins are still on the process of accepting the loss of their beloved mother.